Are you a passionate person? If not were you one in the past? If so, what happened to that fiery passion?
I have started to realize the shift in my life from childhood to adulthood. I was born a passionate feisty little guy. But something happened over time. That fire inside me got quenched. But it didn't happen overnight. In fact it didn't just stop either. It changed.
You see the course of my life went such that my fire of passion got tainted by hurt. And then again with more hurt. Then again... and again... and again. And that process of hurt on top of hurt turned my passion into anger... and that was my undoing.
Once my passion was changed into anger, the fire went out and was replaced with red hot darkness. Now you might think "red hot darkness" doesn't make sense. How can darkness be red hot. But my reply to you would be sloooow down and think about it. Have you ever been angry... in that emotional dark place of hurt, lose, pain, abuse, fear...?
Yeah. That's the place. Red Hot Darkness.
It's where your life is pain, but you're surrounded by darkness. Now perhaps you created the pain, the darkness for yourself with bad decisions or dysfunction. Or perhaps it was forced on you by violence and choices of someone else.
Either way... it's hell.
Winston Churchill is know for the quote:
"If you are going through hell, keep going."
i.e. For the love of God don't stop and get stuck there! Run!!! Whatever it is that's in front of you, run from it. Whatever it is that got you there, turn around and do the opposite of it!
But yeah. Those are the easy answers. Those are not the "how the bleep do I get out of this?"
What The Lord recently shown me is that I had to let go of the anger... I had to release that iron grip I had that held my anger close to me. The anger that various things triggered in me. I had to say to myself "I am no longer going to be angry about this." and "I let go of my expectation and conditions". And when I did that, my anger started to evaporate. And guess what started to happen next?!
The fire of my passion was rekindled! Healing more and more every day. Freedom more and more every day.
But it's hard. It's hard to let go of things you have become accustomed to holding onto for years or decades.
Try it... let go of whatever you are angry about. See how it feels... Seriously, try it. Humor me. Take a risk! Take a risk that maybe, just maybe, you won't be stuck anymore.