As a guy in his 40's I have to say that I am starting to understand what the whole "mid life crisis" thing is. You get to a place and look back on your life and start saying "This isn't where I want to be in my life. How did I get here. I need to change things now!"
But the problem isn't that you got here. Because at the time you were going through all those past years you were doing what you thought you wanted to do or had to do. It's not like you really thought differently at the time.
But this still leads a person to start thinking about drastic changes to their life...
You see the real problem isn't that your life is somehow in the wrong place. But rather the real problem is you are looking back over those years of your life with a critical eye... a critical eye that is through the lens of your current more mature (hopefully!) self. Being critical of your past immature self through the lenses of your older more mature self will always lead to disappointment, confusion, self doubt and rush you towards rash decisions based on more immaturity rather than maturity.
The problem is looking at your past goals and decisions through the lenses of your current self.
So I am in the thick of that season myself right now. While I am think I can weather the storm, I am keenly aware of where the path before me leads. And that I need to make sure I don't start walking the path. It leads to rash decisions that will more than likely ruin my life, not improve my life.
If you find yourself in that mid life season. Make some course corrections, don't throw on the emergency brake and crank the wheel. Your life is more like the Titanic than a race car. It doesn't turn on a dime. And if you try to do a 180 there will be a wake of destruction behind you with your family, your relationships and your finances most likely.
That's my plan at least!
The Practice Journey
My practice journey has not been something I am proud of. I am not spending enough time practicing. But even in that little bit of practice I am improving. And it's helping me get more motivated.