Ever woke up only to realize...

You have spent most or all of your life not doing what you wanted to be doing? Now don't get me wrong. I am not talking about whether you are happy or successful right now. I am talking about whether or not you are doing what you want to be doing right now.

What do you enjoy? What fills your heart with power, energy, love, purpose?

This isn't about jobs, paying the bills or taking care of family and responsibilities. This is about what do you want to be doing? Is it writing? Is it selling? Is it building? Is it pretending? Is it flying or is it swimming? Everyone has things that they enjoy, something (or somethings!) that fill their heart with feelings of good.

Something that has been weighing on my heart more recently is how I have spent my entire life not doing what I wanted. Sure I did things I choose to do, sought after and "wanted to be doing". But none of them were actually what I wanted to be doing. They were just temporary entertainment and "good enough" fulfillment.

Pretty sad to admit actually, since I am 41 years old. Not a 20 year old anymore... not even a 30 year old anymore. This current decade certainly has the impact of feeling "I am not a young adult anymore.". It's not bad for sure, and I am glad for the lessons and wisdom gained in the last 20 years. Something I wouldn't trade or give up to be younger again.

I started out very young drawing. Drawing crazy inventions actually! It was wondrous, amazing, filling. But somewhere along the way shortly after I started drawing it all ended. It was not one single event, but rather many many decisions that killed the next 30+ years for me.

  • Where did the time go? I squandered it.
  • How did it happen? I drifted like a tumble weed through life, instead of choosing my own adventure
  • Why didn't I stop it? I was weak, I was lost, I was distracted, I was comfortable, I couldn't be bothered to put in the effort to change course.

I just finished an amazing book called "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. And it talks about starting new habits, sometimes 2 minutes at a time. And something struck me. I could change the course of my life... 2 minutes at a time. What did I *want* to be doing with my life? Drawing. But I cannot just drop everything and do it. Of course not. I am a 41 year old with a family, a career, friends, a home, responsibilities. I can't just flip a switch and start doing what I want to be doing... But I can start it, 2 minutes at a time. And that little 2 minutes is bringing me joy and energy and fulfillment every day. Bringing me closer to actually doing what I want to be doing.

You see the author's point about starting a habit 2 minutes at a time isn't just applicable for starting habits. It's also for changing your life. It's also how you begin the process of changing from doing what you have been doing, what you need to be doing... to doing what you *want* to be doing!

So think about this. If you spend 2 minutes a day doing what you wanted to do... How would you feel? How would that feeling change your life and your relationships around you over the course of weeks and months this year? And after so many weeks how much easier would 3 minutes? 4 minutes? 15 minutes become? Slowly changing from what you have to do, to what you want to do...

Time might have slipped away for years or decades like it did for me. But it could also slip back and into that amazing place. The only thing in your way, is yourself. 2 minutes a day could change your life? Is anything more valuable than that 2 minutes?

It's just 120 seconds. Get life back headed in the right direction will ya!?