Rough Days Are Still Learning Days

The day job was killer today. I work in IT actually. Which is funny because I am headed headlong into art right now. Talk about war of the left and right brain. heh. So I get home and do the usual. Make some dinner, which sadly was initially my lunch but I never got to eat it. Crash on the couch for a few minutes reading through Twitter. All the while trying not to fall asleep at like 6:30pm since I wake up at 5:25am on weekdays. I finally grab a hold of myself, jump up to clean the kitchen and iron a shirt for work tomorrow. It's then that my best friend messages me "Hey did you [do that thing]?". I am frozen... not because I hadn't done it (which I hadn't) but because I had zero memory she even asked me the question.

The details aren't important. I scrolled back through our bazillion messages to last week and sure enough there was her question. And immediately afterwards was my thumbs up emoji of confirmation. And I was stunned. Because right there was a couple of messages that I have zero memory of... it shook me to my core. Why? Because I have prided [rarely a good word to be using...] myself on attention to detail. And to have no memory of a conversation like this and one where I was supposed to have taken action, even confirming I would take action...

And that's when good ole Holy Spirit drifts in and I can picture myself struggling with perfection and here I am pissed at myself for not being perfect. Looks like this root goes a lot deeper than I had realized and has spread to many more corners of my personality than I would like to admit to myself. But I am man enough to admit it's there right in front of me. Not gonna run from it or hide it. It's part of who I am today, but it won't be part of who I am "tomorrow".

So here's to discovering uncomfortable things about oneself on the heels of a rough day at the day job. Sure I could be pissed he had to reveal that today of all days after a rough day. I mean I could be all like "Dang God, where is the compassion!? Can't you see I had a rough day!?". But then what days aren't rough days? If He waited for the "good days" I would never get a chance to actually change myself!


The Practice Journey

Not drawing as much as I would like. Not nearly as much as I want to be. But with all things in life it's a journey not about the destination. If it was all about the destination life would be really boring...

Still trying to decide on camera angle, proportions, even style. I'll get there though...