Has God called you to do something?
Has God called you to be someone?
As a person who spent 30 years pretending to be someone I wasn't... this is a particularly personal topic. You see I was many things when I was younger. Outgoing, rebellious, passionate, inspired, creative...
And then life happened. Darkness enveloped me.
Now don't get me wrong. It wasn't all bad. In fact some of it was amazingly good!
But I changed. I became someone I wasn't in order to avoid more mistakes, avoid more pain, avoid losing more. And for 30 years that process happened... evolved... consumed me and my personality.
God plays chess backwards
Well the funny thing is God knew all that was going to happen. He spoke so much into my life throughout those years to guide me despite the pain, despite the darkness, despite my changes. You see He knew all along. It's much like the story of Joseph in the Word. God allowed Josepth to be sold into slavery, while God knew all along that Joseph would save his whole family as well as Egypt years later.
Because when God speaks, His words cannot ever come back null and void. When He speaks, He speaks across time. Across our decisions. Across the events of the future. When He speaks, He already knows.
So what has God called you to do, that you aren't doing?
So who has God called you to be, that you refuse to be?
What has He spoken to you?
Remember, what He says cannot be unmade. He is the Alpha and the Omega after all :)
As for me I rememberd who I really was. As my son put it "Dad, you woke up.". And I make no apologies for who I am anymore.
I am how I am, who I am, for what I am. Period.
God makes old things new.